I’ve been a mother for 7 years now…..and there are times when I feel like I have no idea what I’m suppose to be doing. I think and think about it again and then just to make sure, I think about it again. All of the thinking creates self-doubt. My self-doubt breeds comparison and ultimately it leads to “Parenting Paralysis.” Parenting Paralysis (as I like to call it) is when I just don’t know what to do…….and I’m stuck!
Last night my energetic 6 year old daughter was getting to her new hide out in the family room by climbing over the couch. I have already clearly established a no jumping or climbing on furniture policy in our family room. So I gently reminded her about that standard of behavior; but she really needed to know, for absolute sure, that I meant it. She proceeded to climb right back over the couch and jump down into her spot.
It’s a very short distance in my mind from when I start to think about the act of disregarding my couch policy to both of my children being anarchist adults. And here is when the over thinking begins………what to do? how important is it that my kids listen and respond to everything I say? what are the true natural consequences of climbing on couches? how much damage will I do to my daughter’s self esteem if I tell her no iPad tomorrow because of the disrespect of my requests? AAAHHHH paralysis!
Then with the reminder of some very wise and gentle words, I immediately regain my confidence and peace. In an earlier conversation yesterday, my mother in law said to me “There are some lessons that our children need to learn on their own. You cannot be everything to them all the time.”
And so it goes……my daughter will not watch a movie on her iPad today. And whether this is “right or wrong” - my unconditional love for her will still shine through. My children will definitely learn lessons on their own throughout life, and I have no idea which lessons those are or in which form they will come. I respond with trust and faith. Life is an incredible source of love to which I know my children will always have.
Every day is a brand new adventure.