“When I feel good I sing, and the joy it brings makes me feel good. And when I feel good I sing. About the joy it brings.” - Jason Mraz, The Freedom Song.
How does he do that? How does he know exactly how I feel about something and sing it so beautifully? If I ever make a list of sages (which I have), Jason Mraz will (does) hold a position at the top.
Just as he describes, writing brings me incredible joy and when I feel good I write about the joy it brings. My writing exploration started earlier this year, and I didn’t expect it to change my life. I don’t usually like to refer to something as “life changing” because I don’t like the implication that the initial life was unworthy. However, I intentionally write this now....that my pilgrimage with writing is changing my life.
“Sam, read this. Wow - can you believe it? Did you just get chills? Did your life just change when I read you that?” I say this regularly around here when I’m reading. What I mean about changing my life is that there are songs, books, shows, people and experiences that send a sense of calming exhilaration through my body. When I read something that resonates with me or when my spirit meets another person’s spirit, I feel a literal shift in perception.
“We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.” - Julia Cameron. I read this and ran to the living room to find Sam. “Sam read this. Wow - can you believe it? Did you just get chills? Did your life just change?” That message is hugely powerful for me, and made an imprint on my idea of purpose.
When I write, I listen to what is inside me and develop an expression of that energy. When I began I didn’t know what to do about it or even think about it, so I started a blog. The things I blog about are as different as black and white polka dots. I’m not a crafter, a master organizer, a cook or a fashion expert. I love these things, but I’m not committed or focused enough to blog about one thing.
A couple of weeks ago I heard some commotion in my mind about writing a fiction book. I thought it sounded interesting but definitely not achievable. That noise was echoed by some shouting self doubt. And then I heard the commotion again and this time it was echoed by not only self doubt but memories of people criticizing my desire for creativity.
I don’t know why the creative turbulence doesn’t find another head to visit, because apparently mine is brutal. I don’t think this book writing idea should be alone at night in my head. There is vandalism on the walls and serious critics in there. Consider yourself warned, creative urges.
Warning received and warning ignored.
Today while I ate green salsa chicken tacos on my front porch, I saw the deer come for their corn. I rely on seeing these deer every morning and evening. I watched 6 deer stroll across the field, and this time I heard the commotion differently. It was louder than the critic. In fact, the creative turbulence felt courageous, brave and possibly naive.
I don’t know anything about writing a book, but I do know that the journey is exactly what I need. I want to start this journey with no clear vision of what is at the end of it, and with no understanding of who I will meet along the way or what will happen. I am ready to be brave and write a story.
This journey is an invitation to notice things differently throughout my day. It invites me to pay attention to all of the details around me, to hear the noises that are nurturing and the ones that are distracting. It insists that I look at what is directly in front of me and treasure every element of it’s existence. It gently requests that I allow every feeling I have to permeate my body and reflect an intentional awareness.
Writing changes my experience with Life. And so…..tonight, I begin a non-fiction story.